glorious wall of canned meat products courtesy of chotda

Dear lovely spambots who left me 387 comments while I was away in France,
I’m tickled pink to come back to such a mountain of feedback and you’re all just darlings to take the time to write. I’m going to mention a couple of things, though, just so you don’t get your feelings hurt if your little comment doesn’t quite make it through the approval process. Don’t be discouraged: it’s an overcrowded field, and these pointers are just to get you on track about the sort of thing that makes us more ‘particular’* types just sparkle with delight.

Things I am not:
• an acne sufferer
• a World of Warcraft player
• susceptible to generic “you go” exhortations
• an Apple geek or any other form of software engineer
• able to translate arabic, but thank you for thinking I might be
• the owner of an iPhone (™ and please note the capitalization – details matter, dears)
• an erectilely disfunct gun enthusiast yearning for bondage gear and dog clothes
• German
Just in case you think I’m being a bit beastly, here’s an anonymous gem that came oh-just-so-so-close to hitting the mark:
“In his fissure donnybrook, San Mateo County Chief Deputy Neighbourhood [sic] Attorney Steve Wagstaffe painted Alvarez as a deleterious felon who basic brutally worn out another teenaged man at the Villa Taqueria, shot at May minutes later to avoid wealthy aid to penal institution on a parole breaching and then stood over the fallen gendarme and executed him. Cheers.”
It’s quite enchanting really – as if Kerouac got extra drunk and churned out a dime novel. But sweetie, can we try and stay a little more on-topic? I’m having a hard time relating this to a post on the perfect frying pan. I’ll give you an E for Effort, with a side of Must Try Harder.

Keep at it, kids. You’ll get it!

(*This is a play on words. I can do this, you cannot, unless it’s very, very clever, which this example obviously isn’t. It’s my blog and I decide.)